Balzac Test: The Ending

Although the ending surprised me, it made sense. The two friends spent their free time trying to read and acquire books and their imagination grew in the process. The author became a better storyteller, instead of just being envious of Luo. Also, the author's extremely detailed dreams of the Little Seamstress' death articulate his growing imagination. However, what made the ending so relevant is that in the duration of their re-education, the two friends actually made the Little Seamstress more open-minded of the rest of the world. After Luo and the author describe the books by Balzac, she is directly affected, re-educated, and compelled to leave the mountain girl life behind to explore what she has been missing. She strives to become a city girl and the Seamstress will not let her two friends, or her father, stop her. The one lesson that she learned from Balzac is "that a woman's beauty is a treasure beyond price." That is a lesson she will have to experience on her own as she grows up.

Othello Test

A tree that is struck by lightning burns, falls, and crushes everything around, like how Othello allowed himself to be instigated by Iago to bring down everything he worked toward; his reputation, respect, and his love. Tragic vision requires that the hero, despite their efforts, cannot escape their fate and/or death. More importantly, the characters that surround the hero have to be affected strongly as well. Othello was at the "highest point" in his life, but Iago sets in motion a train of events that causes Othello's downfall as well as everyone else around him. Although the events that occurred were not all Othello's fault, Iago uses Othello as an instrument to spin a web that draws the characters to be tangled in tragedy.
The aspect that adds to the tragedy, however, is that the character's strengths become their weaknesses. Roderigo displays his loyalty toward Iago without doubt, "I have no great devotion to the deed; and yet he hath given me satisfying reasons," but does not reap any rewards. Cassio is a heartthrob who has lust for love for "the divine Desdemona," but has the obstacle of "Othello's guard." Cassio trusts Iago to "draw the Moor out of the way," when really he is helping the plan work. Desdemona is not aware of the situation that is taking place and more oblivious to how she is involved and what she has been accused of doing; "since guiltiness I know not; but yet I feel fear." She eventually becomes the center of the tragic vision in Othello. "And out of her own goodness make the net that shall enmesh them all." Desdemona dies because of inflamed, raging, unjustified jealousy encouraged by Iago.
As the web of tragedy unravels, the characters fall from grace and cannot return to the position of safety that they once knew. Desdemona's innocence and apologetic nature along with Othello's love has vulnerability that apparently can only be mended by death. Hence, the tragic vision combines fate and death to equal a viable solution to cancel out the evil that has occurred.

Nature of Evil

I don't think that people are born evil, like The Omen, rather they learn to be evil from someone, somewhere or from experience. If growing up you experience poverty and you never have anything, you will do anything to acquire what you need. Maybe that's why drug dealing is so attractive to some people. Also, if someone never gets caught stealing when they're younger, maybe just taking lollipops, they might grow up thinking it is okay and progress to stealing cars, stealing purses, and robbing banks. Anger and jealousy can also lead to the engagement in bad deeds. There could be a jealous ex-boyfriend who could resort to violence on the other person. Maybe two people who are angry over a situation they are in and fight each other to release tension. I don't know or see that many people who are essentially evil or started out evil. Hurricane Katrina victims steal and hurt others because they went from having nothing to having even less. I am not condoning these actions. Circumstances can change any one's perspective.

Well, Love is...um

I don't really know what love is or how love comes about. I guess love just happens when it happens. I know I love my parents because of the emotional feeling that comes over me when I am around them or when I miss them. For me, loving my family is a given because they have always been there to help. What makes love complex in my situation is that I don't think that I have truly loved anyone outside my family. I'm not trying to say I'm a pimp, but I have never been in a relationship where deep passion is present. I have good friends, and I like a few people more than a friend, but I haven't been in a relationship more than a year. Maybe that's what it takes. I don't think I will know or experience love until I least expect it later on in life. Or when love has come and gone.
In Song of Solomon, love overpowers most of the characters. In some aspects, love seems like a nagging wife that annoys you to death, but one you will desire for life. No one can live without love because everyone wants to be admired no matter how much they try to fake like they don't care.

I Wish I Knew

So I told my parents that I wanted to be treated like an adult; they laughed and said, "We will when you become one." I didn't understand because I thought I was practically grown up. I have a nice car, a job, everything that I wanted, and I am close to being 18. I came back to my parents and said that I had everything I needed to be an adult. In fact, I had more than many adults have anyway. Mom just said I was a spoiled brat who thought I was grown because of the materials that I had. Well, she was right. The car that I own, or we own, was halfway paid by me from my savings and the other half was split between my parents. I make decent money from my job as a bag boy at Kroger, but not enough to support myself. I guess that's why mom still gives me allowance and tells me to put the rest in savings. Afterwards, I usually spend my allowance on video games and some skateboarding supplies. I guess I really don't posses the belongings that are in my room. I realized that everything I have is not because I am a responsible adult, it is because my parents are. I haven't exactly learned anything from the situation, because its so tempting to buy the latest even though I know I shouldn't. I wanted to anxiously be an adult because of the perks, but I only envisioned the positives of a comfortable lifestyle that two adults worked for. I think I'll be a child for now.

An Altruistic Christmas

Christmas was a hectic, gift buying frenzy. My mom told me and my sister that it was time to show our appreciation towards our family and buy gifts for each other. She gave us each $50 to purchase gifts for members of the family. At the time, it seemed like a difficult task considering my mom, dad, sister, aunt and uncle who where living with us. Then she let us loose in the mall. For mom, I found a few baubles at a kiosk she might like; rings, earrings, etc. For dad, I got him a jazz CD out of a music store because its the only music he actually listens to. For auntie, I bought a book on Rostafariansism, since she was determined to be one. For Uncle Ken, I got him some Sean John cologne to better his luck with women. The only base that I had not covered was my sister. I thought about what she kept saying to me in the car, "You know what? You know what Josh? Guess what I want Josh! I want a Barbie playhouse with a convertible car! I think it costs like $30!" Well, that's all that I needed to know. I went to the toy store inside the mall and saw the aisles crowded with frantic parents. I slipped by two parents fighting over a Spongebob doll to pick up the Barbie playhouse and the apparently Malibu Barbie convertible. I extenuated the length of the line; it was around the store. I waited for at least 45 minutes before getting to the counter and I realized that I had run out of money. I checked in my left pocket and pulled out the $40 of my allowance that I had been saving up for a month now to buy Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. I spent the money on a Barbie play set. Sweet. I hid the gifts in the trunk from my sister and wrapped them up at home. On Christmas day, she opened my present to find exactly what she wanted. "Yay, just what I needed!" Out of a bag, my sister pulled out her wrapped present for me. I tore it open to find GTA: San Andreas! I couldn't believe it! How did she know? Anyway, as I started to sprint upstairs to my PS2, my sister asked me, "Will you play with me? You can be Ken!" In my mind I was cringing, but I played with Selena anyway. GTA just sat there calling my name while I drove the Malibu convertible to Barbie's house. It could wait while I was playing with my sister.

After All of this..

Well, at first, I was overwhelmed by the fate vs. free will discussion. I comprehended but still felt lost. I became frustrated and just decided to shut out the existence of fate all together. Now, I'm still skeptical about the existence of fate because isn't it based upon the outcome, not the journey? One's journey toward fate is not part of destiny is it? Those are some questions that have been swimming around in my head. These questions become more obnoxious when they bring more questions as the answers. However, I do understand how Harold Crick is a good analogy toward the connection between fate and free will. He pretty much changed his fate in the movie because of the forceful will of his differing actions. Living your life without worrying about what your fate will turn out to be may diverge from destiny. But still, I don't think fate or destiny are an existing factor in one's specific life. Death is the end for everyone.

Fate or Free Will?

To be honest, I don't believe that the events that happen in your life are "fated" to happen. The choices that one makes determines whatever occurs in the future. Everyone has the free will to do what they want, and nothing can change that. I mean, when there is a child in school, free will is restricted by administrators, teachers, parents, and other adults that are in high authority. However, the choice not to follow them is up to the person. Fate cannot force anyone into submission, or into a certain situation. Of course, there might be consequences, but the decisions one makes create a path toward the next step. Fate cannot decide whether or not one fails a test. It depends on if you decide to study the material or slack off and chill until the test comes (unless one is playing the "Bag of Fate" game in the vortex, but it is still your decision to jump into the vortex.) I guess the reason that I don't believe in fate is because you will never know what your fate is or what it is supposed to be. So, when I am basking in glory, or stuck in a terrible dilemma, I'm not going to say "I guess this is my fate," because that would be some B.S. excuse.

Go Big or Go Home

I definitely do not want to be an average joe. Being crazily, insanely famous would be the best feeling in the universe. Actually, I want to be the greatest human being that ever lived for the next 1,000 years or more. However, trying to be a war hero is not the route that I want to go. Maybe be the greatest lacrosse player that has ever picked up a stick, using the plethora of skills and maneuvers that I posess to dominate the game. Maybe I'll be the most influential skateboarder, inventing tricks and performing them instantly making the crowd roar with excitement. My prowess will change sports for all time. Big dreams; big , dangerous dreams that would be nice to accomplish in my young life to be remembered throughout history. I'm not going to be the next "MJ" or the next Tony Hawk. In the future, everyone will want to be the next "Hamer, the Prodigy." Sure, there may be a few people that will try to replace me between now and the next thousand years, but they won't, because I will be the greatest.

A Favorite of my Childhood

When I was younger, between the ages of six and ten, I read many, many books. I read all of the stories with all the interesting little animals that shared wisdom for life, The Berenstein Bears, and Dr. Seuss. To be honest, I wasn't really a book person back in the day; I liked comics better. I was really a big fan of the Archie comics. Archie was cool sometimes, but Jughead was my favorite character. I always liked the comic relief that he provided due to his constant hunger and apathetic nature. Even though I did not understand all of it at times because it was ahead of my time (they spent like six years in high school), there was something about the realism of the comic that intrigued me. Archie gave me a sort of idea of what the future would bring through school, at home and in life. I mean, sure I liked the superhero comics, but they started to become cliche and predictable as I got older. Sometimes when they were not, they just became weird and diluted. I eventually took a break from Archie, and switched over to anime comics. Now, seven years later, I found all of my old Archie and Jughead comics in the back of my closet, behind Naruto and DragonBall, and brought back memories of Riverdale High.

Philosophy in Siddhartha

In my personal opinion, this kind of thinking would be hard to grasp as a westerner because most of us have been raised to think that we have to learn to grow, experience life before we can be wise, in that order. The idea of already containing wisdom and being on a journey toward perfection never occurs to westerners due to the fact that we never try to find ourselves; we don't think that we already embody all of the answers to eternal life. I've never bothered to look deeply inside of myself to find the old man within me. In fact, I've associated old with being crippled and closer to death. I would rather not be a wise old man; I would rather be young and naive until the time comes for me to accept my fate. That journey will be traveled on a slow pace, hopefully, because perfection is not my ultimate goal in life. Its what I do on my journey that makes life worthwhile.

High School

Movies always portray high school to be a danger zone, where to survive you have to be liked, be popular, or have some type of special quality that would be considered cool to others. There are people who spend their entire high school career pursuing the acceptance of people they will probably never see after high school. Then there are the ones who purposely try to be different to be original, an individual, but also end up fitting in a certain category of other individuals. My high school experience is in between. I tried to be friends with everyone and I just sat back to see where that took me. I acted like myself and people either liked me or thought I was "interesting". By "interesting", I mean I didn't fit the stereotype. As a black, male teenager, I was supposed to act and dress a certain way that would make me assimilate into the rest of the "black society". That would have made me popular. That would have been the easy way out. But I guess I had other issues to attend to, like increasing my GPA, studying for SAT, college, things like that. So to all those who have strived to be the most popular, whats next for you?

Icon

When I was in the 9th grade, my mom forced me to watch a biographical movie about Mahatma Gandhi because she said that it would change my way of thinking and my way of life. At the time, I was mad because I had to watch a movie with my mom, and when it was a movie she liked, she talked through it. After awhile, when I heard the dialogue, I started thinking about all the messages he gave throughout the movie that made sense. "It may seem like rulers will never step down, but throughout history, tyrants are always defeated." Then, I thought about Caesar, Stalin and Hitler, feeling like I had been enlightened. His insightful thoughts and position on non-violence in a way changed my life. His mass civil disobedience against the British in India showed me that you don't always have to fight someone to get what you want. No wonder Martin Luther King used him as inspiration.

"One of the great myths of life is that childhood passes quickly. In fact, because time moves more slowly in Kid World--five times more slowly in a classroom on a hot afternoon, eight times more slowly on any car journey of more than five miles, and so slowly during the last week before birthdays, Christmases, and summer vacations as to be functionally immeasurable--it goes on for decades when measured in adult terms. It is adult life that is over in a twinkling."
-Bill Bryson, The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid

"Have regular hours for work and play; make each day both useful and pleasant, and prove that you understand the worth of time by employing it well. Then youth will be delightful, old age will bring few regrets, and life will become a beautiful success. "
- Louisa May Alcott

I chose these quotes because they relate to me in an opposing way. My entire life has been spent working; working in school, working at home, summer jobs, etc. My parents believed in staying ahead of the game when it came to education and complete submission towards it was the only way to go. Therefore, I never had many friends, never hung out much, and I haven't had a party at my house since I was seven. All I could think about when I was younger was that I couldn't wait to grow up so I could control my own destiny. Unfortunately, adulthood is just around the corner, and the only glimpse of what childhood is supposed to be is from books and movies. I've spent most of my high school years playing catch up by hanging out as much as possible, forcing myself to meet new people, and even trying to throw parties at my house (that didn't exactly work out). I have transfromed from the super shy guy to a laid-back, friendly guy living through the best years of his youth.