An Altruistic Christmas

Christmas was a hectic, gift buying frenzy. My mom told me and my sister that it was time to show our appreciation towards our family and buy gifts for each other. She gave us each $50 to purchase gifts for members of the family. At the time, it seemed like a difficult task considering my mom, dad, sister, aunt and uncle who where living with us. Then she let us loose in the mall. For mom, I found a few baubles at a kiosk she might like; rings, earrings, etc. For dad, I got him a jazz CD out of a music store because its the only music he actually listens to. For auntie, I bought a book on Rostafariansism, since she was determined to be one. For Uncle Ken, I got him some Sean John cologne to better his luck with women. The only base that I had not covered was my sister. I thought about what she kept saying to me in the car, "You know what? You know what Josh? Guess what I want Josh! I want a Barbie playhouse with a convertible car! I think it costs like $30!" Well, that's all that I needed to know. I went to the toy store inside the mall and saw the aisles crowded with frantic parents. I slipped by two parents fighting over a Spongebob doll to pick up the Barbie playhouse and the apparently Malibu Barbie convertible. I extenuated the length of the line; it was around the store. I waited for at least 45 minutes before getting to the counter and I realized that I had run out of money. I checked in my left pocket and pulled out the $40 of my allowance that I had been saving up for a month now to buy Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. I spent the money on a Barbie play set. Sweet. I hid the gifts in the trunk from my sister and wrapped them up at home. On Christmas day, she opened my present to find exactly what she wanted. "Yay, just what I needed!" Out of a bag, my sister pulled out her wrapped present for me. I tore it open to find GTA: San Andreas! I couldn't believe it! How did she know? Anyway, as I started to sprint upstairs to my PS2, my sister asked me, "Will you play with me? You can be Ken!" In my mind I was cringing, but I played with Selena anyway. GTA just sat there calling my name while I drove the Malibu convertible to Barbie's house. It could wait while I was playing with my sister.

After All of this..

Well, at first, I was overwhelmed by the fate vs. free will discussion. I comprehended but still felt lost. I became frustrated and just decided to shut out the existence of fate all together. Now, I'm still skeptical about the existence of fate because isn't it based upon the outcome, not the journey? One's journey toward fate is not part of destiny is it? Those are some questions that have been swimming around in my head. These questions become more obnoxious when they bring more questions as the answers. However, I do understand how Harold Crick is a good analogy toward the connection between fate and free will. He pretty much changed his fate in the movie because of the forceful will of his differing actions. Living your life without worrying about what your fate will turn out to be may diverge from destiny. But still, I don't think fate or destiny are an existing factor in one's specific life. Death is the end for everyone.

Fate or Free Will?

To be honest, I don't believe that the events that happen in your life are "fated" to happen. The choices that one makes determines whatever occurs in the future. Everyone has the free will to do what they want, and nothing can change that. I mean, when there is a child in school, free will is restricted by administrators, teachers, parents, and other adults that are in high authority. However, the choice not to follow them is up to the person. Fate cannot force anyone into submission, or into a certain situation. Of course, there might be consequences, but the decisions one makes create a path toward the next step. Fate cannot decide whether or not one fails a test. It depends on if you decide to study the material or slack off and chill until the test comes (unless one is playing the "Bag of Fate" game in the vortex, but it is still your decision to jump into the vortex.) I guess the reason that I don't believe in fate is because you will never know what your fate is or what it is supposed to be. So, when I am basking in glory, or stuck in a terrible dilemma, I'm not going to say "I guess this is my fate," because that would be some B.S. excuse.